Thursday, January 26, 2006


Part of moving on and living a life is forming new relationships, romantic or otherwise.

I'm a huge fan(atic) of the Gilmore Girls. There was an episode back in its third or fourth season, Rory's college freshman year, when Lorelei told Rory that she/Rory had never dated. She'd had relationships but had never dated. No wonder Rory was nervous about her first real date.

Well, I realized recently that I, at 45, have never dated. I, too, have had relationships but no dates. Now, within those relationships, I have been on wonderful 'dates' with my S.O. but I've never dated where that was part of the getting-to-know-you (dare I say 'courting'?) phase.

So I'm kinda looking forward to that if I ever get the chance. And that won't be soon. I have recently formed a friendship (okay, maybe a bit more than a friendship but I don't see it being a longterm romance - I am definitely not ready for such a thing - and neither does he) that quickly settled in to regular phone calls and hanging out with each other but it's not really 'dating'. And that's fine.

This casual relationship began at my instigation. I had known of him for years as he is a good friend of another friend of mine. When my friend was losing her partner to cancer, this man did some incredibly kind things that still move me to this day. So I've thought for a couple of years that he would be someone I would like to know under any circumstances. So when I was hurting and lonely and knew he was doing the same (having been through a divorce) I thought we could keep each other company now and then, see a movie, that kind of thing. I cleared it with my friend, got his phone number from her, and called him last November. Now, I don't think much of my looks but I've never let that stop me from this kind of thing but I still can't believe I had the guts to do this. I always figure 'what have I got to lose?' - maybe a bit of dignity but I can survive that and the payoffs can be great. I've often made new friends (and I do mean just friends) this way.

(Side note: I don't provide my mother with a lot of personal information about my life. This is necessary in our relationship. So she knows very little about this new man. Tonight I let slip that I had been the one to call him first and she was truly horrified and told me 'men don't like that'. *LOL*)

I also learned after our first meeting that I am a flirt. Sorta. I saw a Dr. Phil episode where he advised single women on how to behave on a first date and his advice was pretty much everything I do naturally.... looking them in the eye, being interested in them, laughing, being open in discussions about anything, etc., etc. No wonder he responded so well. *grin* Who knew? (By the way, I'm like that with anyone.)

So here I am in a friendly relationship with a nice man - a relationship that has boosted my confidence like nothing else could have - but still dateless. I plan on continuing pushing myself out of my comfort zones and pursuing interests/hobbies so who knows who I may meet? There may be hope for me yet. ;-)

(Stay tuned for my list of things I've learned I want and don't want in a potential partner; thanks to this man, my ex-husband, and my lost love, I think I'm finally figuring that out.)


Blogger TW said...

I have to say I am impressed Mona. Quite. Keep blogging.

5:14 AM  
Blogger SwampHag said...

Wow, TW! I always read yours too, just have never commented. I'm honored, thank you! :-)

11:34 AM  

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