I did it!

Well, I had THE DREADED MASSAGE yesterday and it wasn't so dreadful. *sheepishgrin*

The masseuse was a sweetheart and many of my concerns simply became nonissues. She was professional and friendly and very skilled and I felt very safe.

However, it definitely didn't help the FM pain and sometimes hurt while there (too long lying in one position or another - FM really should be called 'The PrincessAndThePea Syndrome' because of the feelings of pain from the most innocuous things - or due to the massaging itself though she was gentle and ALWAYS instantly eased up if I said anything about it hurting. Thankfully, it didn't seem to kick me into a worse flare than I'm already experiencing so no harm, no foul.

My grief was triggered right from the start and throughout for a few reasons. She was very understanding of the tears and I know it's not unusual but I'm still feeling very lost and vulnerable today and don't like it. I probably should just allow myself to feel the feelings but I'm fighting them and trying to get on with my day.

So no fears anymore but I also didn't get the "wow! what took me so long? I'll have to do this more often now!" epiphany I was half expecting. I may go for another one in the future, but probably do the chair thing to hopefully lessen the pain. The pampering/caring itself was VERY nice.

Thanks to my best friend for facilitating this experience.

Now, on to the next endeavor. Aside from getting some practical things done around the house, I'll be looking into the tow plane/glider experience. :-)