THE LIST (A Work In Progress)

Note: This list is by no means complete and is subject to change at a moment's notice and on the whim of the writer. I'm told that, as a woman, it IS my prerogative to change my mind. So there.

Things I want and don't want in a future partner (Not necessarily in order of importance.)

Vicinity: Considering my last serious relationship was with someone on the other side of the world, 'in the vicinity' could mean anything along the west coast and it would feel close. But boy, it would be nice to have someone nearby.

If male, comes (no pun intended) with a vasectomy. (See THE CONTINUING SAGA OF A MIDDLE-AGED SINGLETON for reference.) If female.... well, nevermind.

(You didn't really think this was going to be an entirely serious list, did you?)

Is brave enough to be in a relationship with me in front of the world and everything.

Has a great sense of humor that doesn't rely on putting others down. Knows his way around a double entendre. Quick-witted. Self-deprecating. Ability to be downright silly. Able to laugh.

Thinks I am special, funny, sexy, awesome, and amazing in 1001 ways.

Is able to enjoy, celebrate, accept and appreciate all the love I have to give in all the ways I give it. Being able to give love fully and have it accepted by the one I love is probably more important to me than being loved.

Enthusiastic, joyful, passionate, unhibited, considerate, respectful lover. Physical attributes don't matter and techniques can be learned. If you've got the attributes listed in that first sentence, we can go from there. I promise I won't bite.... unless you want me to. (Okay, okay. I can hear the groans from here. Hey, I'm allowed an old joke now and then.)

Is free to be in a relationship with me. That means divorced (or widowed or single), not separated, not thinking about getting separated.

Love and appreciation of language, either written or oral or both. A second (or third) language is nice too but not a must. Heck, *I* don't speak more than one language with any fluency.

Loves music, is truly moved by it, and is open to trying different kinds and sharing his own preferences.

A world view. Aware and appreciative of the world and different perspectives and beliefs.

Enjoys traveling, exploring different places and new experiences.

Makes time for me. Makes an effort to be with me.

Prefer (but not a must) no kids or kids who are grown. I've raised my sons and am in a different place now.

Knows how to treat a lady. I like doors being opened for me. (Heck, I open them for men, too. For me it goes both ways.)

Being clean in his person and in surroundings. Being a neat freak is not necessary. If you ARE a neat freak, that's okay, just don't expect ME to be one. I'll pick up after after myself and I expect you to do the same.

Is able to just be companionably silent with me without needing to fill up each moment with talk and noise.

Likes to hold hands in public.

Is able to find joy in the smallest of things.

Treats others (including my sons) with consideration and respect.

Forgiving of fallibilities in others.

Financially responsible and not afraid of work.

Punctual. Being early now and then is fine, being late now and then is fine. But I don't appreciate someone consistently being an hour or two later than we'd arranged, resulting in our time being rushed. That tells me that he believes his time is more important than mine and I'm not worth his consideration. And yes, punctuality and spontaneity are not mutually exclusive.

Non-smoker.

Encouraging of my own individual creative and adventurous pursuits and of my work (just as I would be of yours). We do not need to be joined at the hip.

Accent doesn't matter but a sexy voice is a must.

Someone around my age. I know that anything can happen and often does but it would be difficult for me to be with someone considerably older than me again; the chances of being left alone again too soon are too great.

Appreciation of nature.

Is a movie buff and enjoys foreign and independent films as much as mainstream films.

Someone who can handle the limitations of my having fibromyalgia.

We've all got baggage. I know I do. But it should be faced, dealt with, learned from, moved on from. Don't judge me by your past relationships.

Passive Aggressives need not apply.

Don't shut me out when you have some issues to work out. I am quite happy to give you space if you need it, just let me know rather than keep me guessing at what *I* may have done wrong.

Doesn't need to drink (or get high) to have a good time.

Road rage is NOT a turn on.

Doesn't feel the need to put me or others down to feel good about himself.

Homophobics and bigots not welcome. Disrespect of women's rights just won't work.

I respect your right to believe or not believe in whatever higher power you wish. Respect mine. Having said that, I do not think I could be with someone who was a fundamentalist anything but then I expect that anyone who is a fundamentalist wouldn't want to be with me anyway.

Doesn't judge a book by its cover.

Doesn't believe that burps and farts are the height of comedy.

Gee, I bet you're so surprised this got so long. NOT. Well, this is a start. You can all laugh at me when I end up with someone who doesn't meet any of the above criteria and who lives in Tibet.